


No One Wins- Pidge and Revenge by Proxy

by the_sinnamon_roll_writes



Series: Bad Things Happen [11]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Could be read as kidge or not, I feel like I rushed it, I've got one with Lance and Pidge coming up, It’s up to you dear readers, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Whump, Pidge | Katie Holt Angst, Pidge | Katie Holt Whump, The first part kinda reads a bit choppy in the dialogue, huh I really left most of the paladins out of this one, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 23:16:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17476802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sinnamon_roll_writes/pseuds/the_sinnamon_roll_writes
Summary: This takes place in season 8, the first episode with Zethrid in it. I think it's called The Grudge or something? Anyways, Keith and Pidge get caught in this one instead of them all getting away!A brief warning: there's two places towards the middle that might read as an implied threat of noncon. Nothing at all explicit or even directly stated though.





	No One Wins- Pidge and Revenge by Proxy

It was hard to place the scratchy voice. It was clear it knew who he was. It did sound incredibly familiar. And not a good familiar. The sound of it made him feel uneasy, and Keith desperately wished he wasn’t wearing a blindfold so he could see what was going on. Actually, he would’ve liked to know why he was wearing a blindfold to begin with. He had a feeling that that question should take priority. 

Of course, he wasn’t even sure if he would be able to see anything, even if he wasn’t wearing it. Shit, he wasn’t even sure if he was actually awake. Maybe this was all just some hugely unsettling dream. Then the blindfold was yanked off. 

He blinked blearily, still trying to decide if he was actually conscious. Then a cold liquid that Keith really hoped was just water splashed down onto him and a foot kicked his left thigh. Keith bolted upright- or at least, he tried to. It was hard to move quickly when he was being held down. It only took a second for him to realize that his hands were tied. 

“It _has_ been awhile, hasn’t it?”

Right, someone was talking to him. His eyes finally focused on the tall figure in front of him. 

_‘Oh fuck. That’s Zethrid. How did I end up with Zethrid?’_ He tried thinking back- he could remember when he realized it was her, but after that, things were just slowly coming back in useless chunks that he was having a hard time putting together. Fuck- he had no way of knowing where he was, or how long he’d even been missing from the rest of the team. He was then uncomfortably aware of a stinging in his upper chest. When he looked down, he saw an angry red mark just below his collarbone. Had he been tased? Could tasers really make people pass out? Of course, if it had been a taser, it was probably a space-grade hell taser that was more than capable of knocking someone out. Nothing surprised him anymore. 

“I had originally planned to simply kill you. But then I was told that one of my crew was able to obtain something that might interest you.” She had continued talking without stopping to see if he was paying attention. Keith didn’t like the way she was looking down at him. She was too happy about something. And if she was happy, then he was in trouble. Even with his basic knowledge of her as a person, he assumed that the ‘something’ they found was some unspeakable torture machine that would make him plead for death or something. 

“Bring it here.”

He steeled himself. This wouldn’t be pretty. 

A minute later a sentry came in with a small, squirming person slung over his shoulders. Keith was horrified to see a red-faced Pidge being dumped onto the floor in front of Zethrid. Just out of his reach. It took her a moment to realize just who it was that she had just been handed over to. Her face paled and the fierceness that had been there vanished when she recognized the half-Galra. She tried to scramble back away from her, only to bump right into a wall. 

“Do you remember what you took from me?” Zethrid asked Keith, her voice chillingly calm. She hadn’t even acknowledged that Pidge had arrived. “Do you know what you did to my life?”

“I don’t know what you think I did, but she didn’t do anything!”

Zethrid slammed her foot down less than an inch away from Pidge’s shin. “You know what you did! I want to hear you say it!”

“Tell me what you want me to say, and I’ll say it,” Keith said desperately, “just leave her out of this!”

“You took Ezor from me. She was the only thing in my life that mattered, and you took her from me!”

“Okay, I took her from you, and ruined your life. There, you got what you wanted. Now just let her go!”

“I don’t think so. What providence that you were the other one we were able to catch. It’s too bad she isn’t here,” Zethrid finally sneered down at Pidge. “Ezor was anxious to get her claws into you. The small ones usually scream the sweetest. I wonder whether he still has a soft spot for you. A tiny little creature like yourself- I’m sure it would absolutely kill him to know that you’re the one taking the hits for him. What do you think?”

His blood went cold. Zethrid was going to hurt _Pidge_ to get at _him_. No- he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let Pidge get hurt on his behalf. Without sparing a second glance at the thugs standing at his side, Keith lunged forward at the two of them. Big mistake. The butt of a gun came down on his right shoulder with a harsh _thunk_ and the promise of a nasty bruise the next day. It left his arm dangling uselessly at his side, and he groaned loudly. 

“Keith-” Pidge said with just the slightest hint of a tremor in her voice. 

“I’m okay- get your fucking hands off her!” Keith tried to jerk forward again when Zethrid seized the hair at the back of Pidge’s head and jerked her up. A weak protest came from Pidge’s mouth, and the fact that she wasn’t putting up a fight was testament to just how scared she really was. She looked absolutely terrified, and Keith could only imagine she was recalling the last time they’d crossed paths with Zethrid. She had narrowly avoided torture then, and now she was right back at her mercy. He’d forgotten how much she’d been affected by Ezor and Zethrid’s threats. He had never asked her about it, but he had a feeling that she had lost some sleep over it. His mind raced as he tried to think of a plan. “Get your hands off of her!”

_‘Hell of a plan there, Keith. Why don’t you just keep repeating yourself, that’s sure to do some good.'_

Of course Zethrid ignored him and ran a hand down along Pidge’s face, drawing a shudder from her. “You’re the smart one, right?” she asked Pidge. “Any guesses as to what we’re going to do with you? Well?”

Pidge stayed silent, although Keith couldn’t tell whether it was from stubbornness or fear. Either way, it was enough to irritate Zethrid into shaking Pidge roughly by the head before looking back at Keith. 

“What about you? What do you think we have in store for this one?”

“Come on, she’s not the one you want to hurt,” Keith tried helplessly. “Please, just let her go.”

“We’re going to hurt it. Then when we’re done hurting it, we’re going to kill it. You took someone I loved from me, now I’m going to take something you love from you,” she said simply, looking down at Keith with a twisted smile. Pidge wasn’t a person to her, he realized. It didn’t matter to Zethrid at all that she was hurting the younger girl. It was like she was taking away his toy to break in front of him. This was bad. 

“Please don’t hurt her! _Please,”_ Keith begged. He didn’t think he could live with himself if Pidge got hurt because of him. There was nothing he could say that would make any difference. He needed to _do_ something

“You’re lucky,” Zethrid purred, jerking Pidge up to look her in the eyes, “that Ezor isn’t here. She’s the one who liked to get creative. I prefer a more direct approach.”

With that, Zethrid rammed her knee into Pidge’s stomach. Pidge immediately tried to double over, but Zethrid didn’t release her grip on Pidge’s head, and she just wound up getting a large chunk of hair torn from her scalp. 

_“Shit,”_ Pidge managed to cough out before being dropped to the ground. She didn’t get much of a break before Zethrid’s boot collided with the side of her head and knocked her down flat. For a moment, Keith was concerned that she wouldn’t get up. But then she blinked and lifted her head an inch off the ground before struggling to get back up. She had just made it to a sitting position when another kick to her ribs knocked the air from her lungs, and she fell back again, gasping. Judging by the way Pidge was clutching her chest, he was ready to bet one or two of those ribs had just been broken. 

Then Zethrid was grabbing her by the collar and pulled her up to her feet again, where she swayed dangerously. A fist flew into Pidge’s face once, then twice, then a third time. When Zethrid stopped, Pidge’s nose was a bloody mess and her eyes were unfocused and looked to be crossing. She was literally being used as a punching bag, and it was making Keith sick. The pure ferocity in Zethrid’s attack was stunning. There was no way Pidge would survive if it continued. 

_“Stop it!_ You’ll kill her!” He was still struggling to reach them, even though he had no idea what to do once he got there. It wasn’t like he had much room to maneuver. But that was his thing, right? Figuring things out in the moment? How often did he actually have a plan when he did things? He could count on one hand the amount of times he had actually made a plan himself. 

“That’s the idea.” Zethrid was loving this. Standing just out of his reach with Pidge in her grasp, watching him struggle and beg. She laughed at the feeble cry Pidge let out when she was slammed against the wall and had the air knocked out of her. Without giving her the chance to catch her breath, Zethrid landed another series of cruel blows to Pidge’s torso. From her neck to her lower stomach, it seemed like Zethrid was determined to bruise or break every part of Pidge’s body. 

“How does it feel, knowing that you’re the one putting it through this?” Zethrid asked Keith out of the blue, looking down on him. She hadn’t released Pidge, leaving her dangling against the wall by her neck. Occasionally, Pidge would kick out weakly, like she just remembered she was supposed to be struggling. Then she was being swung around to dangle right in front of Keith. “You may as well throw a few punches yourself.”

Keith could only grind his teeth. If he said anything right now, he would just be encouraging her to hurt Pidge even more. She had been right of course, he did have a soft spot for Pidge, and it was absolutely unbearable to watch her getting beaten to a pulp like this. For him. 

When Zethrid turned her attention back to Pidge, she realized that her eyes were starting to droop. Zethrid frowned with mock concern, and she backhanded Pidge across the cheek hard enough to snap her face to the side. “We can’t have you passing out now.”

She jerked her head at one of her cronies who hurried away. As she waited for him to return, Zethrid stroked Pidge’s cheek again, and brushed some loose hairs out of her face. Her hand angled Pidge’s face up to look at her more clearly. “You’re a pretty little thing, aren’t you? Even when you’re all bloody.”

Keith shuddered. He almost couldn’t wait for the one who left to come back with whatever it was he went to get, if only to stop whatever the fuck Zethrid was doing right now. It was disturbing, and he didn’t like any direction that this might go in. His stomach dropped when he heard what she said next. 

“I’m sure some of my crew would have a fun time with you.”

 _“No!”_ Keith shouted, going back to fighting as hard as he could against his bindings when he worked out what Zethrid was doing. He wasn’t _entirely_ sure if Zethrid meant they would enjoy beating Pidge up, or if she meant something far worse, but he didn’t like the leers on the faces of every disgusting _fucking pervert_ in here. Either way, there was no way in hell he could let them get at her. “I’ll rip your _fucking_ throats out! _Let her go!”_

Zethrid grinned wickedly down at him, letting him know without words that she would do no such thing. Pidge was wiggling again, but she was trembling too hard to make any progress. Blood, tears, and snot were dripping down her face. To his concern, she actually looked like she wasn’t sure what was happening. Had Zethrid really managed to hit her that hard? What a dumb question, of course she had. He had to get to her and get her the hell away from here somehow, and he had to do it before the creeps bearing down on her could lay a finger on her. 

But he couldn’t reach her before three of Zethrid’s men were there. One of them grabbed her hair and yanked her head back, dragging a sharp nail down her exposed neck to her collarbone, leaving a faint red trail. Another grabbed her arms and jerked them harshly behind her back, and another seized her jaw and squeezed the tender skin there. She tried to say something, but no sound got out before the one behind her smacked a hand down over her mouth. 

Pidge was sobbing around the hand that was covering her mouth, and Keith wasn’t far behind her when the thug that Zethrid had sent away returned, empty handed. “Captain, I’m sorry I didn’t bring back any smelling salts, but I was told that we’ve arrived, and that I was to tell you immediately.”

Keith could’ve kissed him. A distraction like that was just what they needed, and it got everyone but Zethrid’s hands off of her. 

“Ah. Thank you Yondor.” Zethrid looked down at the small girl she was holding, then at Keith. With an exaggerated sigh, she tossed Pidge down at him like she was throwing away a piece of trash. He did his best to catch her, but with his hands tied, there wasn’t much he could do to keep her head from banging into his, or to keep her from tumbling down to the floor with a grunt. “We’ll be back later to continue.”

With that threatening promise, Zethrid turned around and walked out, followed closely by her henchmen. 

“Pidge?” He tried to sound relaxed, but he knew he was failing miserably. Keith looked down at her, and put a hand on her cheek as gently as he could. 

It took a moment for her to come to her senses, but when she finally did, she threw herself at him. She was still shivering violently, and whimpered as she grabbed at him. “Keith- Keith don’t let them t-touch me. Please d-don’t let them.”

He brought his arms down around her as best he could. He had never seen her so scared before. Not that he could blame her. He’d probably be in the same boat had those threats been directed at himself. “I won’t Pidge. I swear I won’t. I’m gonna get us both out of here. I need you to do something though. Can you get my hands free? I need to have my hands if we’re going to escape.” He spoke slowly and as calmly as he could manage. She was close enough now for him to see that her pupils were unevenly dilated, and her nose was definitely broken. 

Pidge nodded and set to work getting his hands free. It took longer than it might have normally. She kept blinking and frowning down at her hands- her shaking hands, that made the simple task much harder. And he was right there with her, feeling rather shaken himself. And overwhelmingly guilty. Like Zethrid said, he might as well have been throwing the punches himself. And here she was, looking to him for protection. As soon as he was free, he wrapped his arms around her to give her a real hug, as tight as he could. One hand had gone up and cupped the back of her head, and the other one was rubbing small circles on her back. Normally he wasn’t huge on hugging, but he felt he owed her this one small comfort. She returned it with fervor. 

This was sure to stick with her for a while. It was all his fault. Zethrid had done this because of him. 

Suddenly he was having a hard time not crying. Shit. He couldn’t, not now. Push it down, save it for later. He needed to be strong for her, to get her as far away from here as physically possible. 

Okay. First things first. He needed to find out where they had arrived at. Wherever they were, there was sure to be some sort of communications center. Maybe if they got there, they could contact the Atlas and get an evac. That seemed like their best bet for now. But first he needed to know- “Pidge, can you walk?”

She paused a second before answering, closing her eyes and taking inventory of her body. She was hurting- really hurting- but she was sure she could power through. Power through... through walking, right, she could do that. So she nodded. “I think I can.”

He would’ve preferred a ‘yes’ to ‘I think I can’ but that’s what he got. And it was better than a ‘no’. “Okay, I think I have a plan.”

Pidge nodded again once he recounted his idea for her. She didn’t offer up any other ideas or suggestions, and Keith wasn’t sure if he should take that as a good thing or a bad thing. He couldn’t even tell how much she’d understood. But again, he would just have to take it. 

Now to figure out just how exactly to get out. Keith studied the bars of the cell closely. They weren’t anything fancy. He was able to summon his bayard and slice through them easy enough. Apparently Zethrid hadn’t realized he was able to do that. He walked through the hole he’d made first, looking up and down the hallway to make sure it was safe for Pidge. When he was satisfied that they were alone, Keith looked back and gestured for her to follow him. 

And she did, cautiously, creeping out like a mouse on watch for a hungry cat. Which, he supposed, was basically what she was right now. A proud Lion, reduced to a scared little mouse. 

It was unnerving to see her like this. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her like this- he wasn’t even sure if there _had_ been a last time. She was fierce. She didn’t get scared easily. Apparently Zethrid was in the small category that did frighten her. All the more reason to get her out of here. 

Confidence. He was sure she would feel more at ease if he just convinced her that he was confident about their escape. If she sensed any weakness, it was no doubt going to be a blow to her tenuous feelings of security with him. So he kept his head up and shoulders squared as they hurried through the hallways. And he was starting to actually build up some real confidence for himself. It was so empowering. 

Then an intercom sounded, and Pidge just about jumped out of her skin. 

_“The prisoners have escaped. Recapturing them is now of the highest priority. First one to reach them gets the first turn at the girl.”_ Zethrid’s rough voice was followed by a loud alarm and flashing white lights. 

The terror was back as Pidge grabbed at Keith’s arm. Damn it. Right back to square one. “Keith, they know- they’re gonna catch us! And I’ll be- she’ll let them- Zethrid will let her crew...”

She quieted when he took her once-again trembling hands in his. He was a little panicked himself, but he couldn’t let her know that. “They aren’t going to catch us. I’ll kill anyone who even comes close to you. Look, we have a head start, and they have no way of knowing where we’re going.”

Neither did they, really, but that was another thing she didn’t need to hear. She probably knew anyways. She wasn’t an idiot. But he really needed her mind to be as clear as possible right now, so he was saying whatever he could to keep her from freaking out too badly. She was hurt, and scared, and probably having to fight to focus on where she was right now. Now that he thought about it, Keith wasn’t even sure if she actually knew what was happening. It was possible that her brain was just throwing her in this position, in pain and totally lost, surrounded by people who wanted to hurt her. No wonder she was close to tears again. 

And that was _exactly_ where Pidge’s head was at. Everything was loud, and the alarm’s flashing lights only added to the pounding in her head. She could vaguely remember threats- words that made her shudder and brought her dangerously close to vomiting. Threats that were far too close to being a reality. Every few steps she took seemed to erase, then bring back bits of memory, leaving her confused and anxious. Why couldn’t it all just _stop_ for a minute? If she could just have a minute to try and clear her head a little, she was sure she would be fine. 

“No Pidge, I’m sorry but we need to keep going. I need to get you out of here. Once we get out, then we can find some place to take a breather.”

Huh. Apparently she’d been talking. She felt a warm weight in her hand then, comforting and so wonderfully solid in the spinning world around her. Pidge looked down to find Keith holding her hand and pulling her along. Oddly enough, it helped. It didn’t make her hurt any less, or make the blaring alarms stop, but in some way, it made it a bit easier to remember what they were doing. That hand wasn’t going to leave her behind.

She was still running slower than she was normally capable of, and Keith was struggling not to groan and just drag her into a sprint. All things considered though, she was holding up about as well as he could’ve expected. If he had been right about her having some broken ribs earlier, then she was probably running about as fast as she was could. Patience. He needed to have patience. But while he would’ve liked nothing more than to let her sit and recuperate, they simply didn’t have the time. There was no way he could allow her to fall back into Zethrid’s claws. When he heard shouting approaching them, Keith tugged on Pidge’s hand again to urge her to speed her back up. 

Luckily his urgency was wearing off on her, and she went along with him, fighting the thick fog that threatened to overwhelm her. 

One foot in front of the other. Left, right, left, right. She just... needed to focus on that. Unfortunately, focus wasn’t exactly in her vocabulary right now, and it was unbelievably hard to do. She could hardly remember why they were running right now. She would still get the occasional flash of a cruel face, or remember snippets of threats the had been directed at her that would encourage her to keep going. But those were growing few and far between. 

Then Keith felt the small hand he was holding jerk to a stop and drop with a yelp. Keith spun around to see Pidge on the ground with her ankle twisted the wrong direction. God fucking damn it. Of course. Of course this would happen. Why the hell not? Nothing else was going right, might as well give the poor girl a sprained ankle. The cherry on top. 

_‘... My crew would have a fun time with you.’_

Before he could even think to help her, Pidge was pulling herself up on the wall and starting to stumble forward, spurred on by those words playing in her head. She was a damn trooper. As quickly as he could, Keith rushed over to stand on the side with her injured ankle. He had to crouch down to wrap her arm over his shoulders. A part of him was actually starting to hope that someone would show up. With every passing second, the desire to beat the ever-loving shit out of someone was growing. 

They were moving so much slower now, it would take a miracle for them to not get caught. Didn’t they deserve a miracle right now? Pidge certainly did. He still had his armor on. Shouldn’t the Atlas have been able to track them down that way? Maybe they were. Maybe they were already on their way. That was a plausible idea. Shiro wouldn’t just let them go if he could find them. An unpleasant realization hit him when he thought about what had happened to the other Paladins. Were they okay? If the trap had been primarily for him, did that mean they were left behind? _‘Please let that have been what happened.’_

Keith stilled when he heard footsteps approaching from ahead, and Pidge followed suit. Damn. He’d wanted a fight, but not while Pidge would be caught in the crosshairs. He pulled her off to the side against the wall and placed himself in front of her. They would get to her over his dead body. Naturally he hoped it wouldn’t come to that- Pidge would have an extremely hard time getting out of here on her own in her condition. 

He brandished his bayard, preparing himself for a fight. Whoever it was had to be getting close to the corner in front of them. Keith glanced back at Pidge one last time before starting to charge down the hall and around the corner. Best to get the jump on them, rather than wait for them to come to him. When he turned to face them, he was surprised to see Shiro and Curtis standing there. They looked just as surprised as he did. 

“Shiro- oh thank _god,_ you guys are here! Why didn’t you radio us?”

“We didn’t know if you had your helmets. And we didn’t want to risk giving ourselves away if they had been taken,” Shiro answered. He had a smile on his face, relieved to see his adoptive brother out and able to fight. “Have you been able to find-“

“Keith?” A timid voice called out from where Keith had emerged from, startling them all. Kicking himself mentally for forgetting about her, Keith turned around and sprinted back to Pidge without offering an explanation to Shiro or Curtis. She hadn’t moved from her place on the wall, and watched with wide eyes as he cleared the distance towards her. 

“Pidge! It’s okay, it was just Shiro,” Keith promised her, once again taking her hand to guide her down towards them. She leaned heavily on him, and Keith had a feeling her ankle wasn’t doing any better. And if he had to guess by the expression on her face, neither was the rest of her body. “They found us. They’re gonna get us out of here.”

She went along with him, albeit a little suspiciously. She relaxed a little when she saw that it was indeed Shiro, but she didn’t release her grip on Keith. Shiro frowned, then raised an eyebrow at Keith. All he received in reply was a barely perceptible head shake. A silent _‘I’ll tell you later.’_

Curtis didn’t miss the interaction, but he didn’t say anything either. Instead he led by example and started walking back in the direction they had come from. He and Shiro had their hands free, and had taken up the job of defending Keith and Pidge without question. With them leading, it was only a short walk to the exit of the absolute fortress that Zethrid flew. 

“Alright, I’m going to go let the crew know we need to leave right away,” Shiro said, catching Keith’s eye and nodding. He sprinted ahead, leaving Curtis there to keep an eye on Keith and Pidge as they trudged along as quickly as they could. Which wasn’t very quick. But Keith was feeling _much_ better than he had been just a few minutes earlier. They were still technically in enemy territory, but now with the crew of the Atlas, they outnumbered the enemy by far. 

It took them longer that it would’ve taken to reach the Atlas, had Pidge not been injured. But as it was, they still made it, and they both survived. 

Keith could only imagine how they must’ve looked. Limping along, supporting a battered Pidge who was so exhausted she could hardly form individual words. The first person running up to them was Matt. He didn’t even acknowledge Keith. He hurried to stand in front of Pidge, reaching down to cup her cheeks and look at her eyes. “Katie?”

“Mm. Matt?” Pidge blinked as she struggled to focus on him. 

“There she is.” Matt looked incredibly relieved, as he bent his knees to take her off of Keith’s hands. “What happened?”

“That’s... a long story.” Just then, exhaustion hit him like a bus, leaving him swaying where he stood. 

“Then it can wait.” Where had Shiro come from? Hadn’t he gone to address the Atlas crew? Didn’t matter. Keith was just grateful that he wasn’t going to have to answer any questions any time soon. He felt like there were some questions he wanted to ask, but for the life of him, he couldn’t think of them. He’d just spent the last who-knows how long running for his life- and Pidge’s. 

Wait- where had Pidge gone? Keith’s heart stopped when he realized he couldn’t see her anymore. “Where- where’d she go? Shiro, where’s Pidge?”

Shiro looked alarmed when Keith grabbed his arm desperately. “Keith, it’s okay, Matt just took her to the infirmary. Calm down. You’re both safe now. It’s alright.”

Keith stared at him blankly while he processed what Shiro had said. It took him longer than it should’ve. When he did, Keith just shook his head slowly and ran a hand through his hair. “No it’s not. It was my fault she got hurt. She went through- if you had heard the way Zethrid was talking about her, what they were going to do- Shiro, she hurt Pidge to get to me. Because she knew I care about her. And Pidge was so scared-“ his heart ached when he thought of Pidge’s face as they ran. She hadn’t deserved any of that. 

He felt Shiro’s hand on his shoulders, and forced himself to meet his eyes. “You can’t do this to yourself. You can stand around and blame yourself all day. But you weren’t the one throwing the punches. You were trying to stop them. Alright? And blaming yourself- that’s exactly what Zethrid wants you to do. She wants you to feel bad, even when you’re far away from her. And Pidge is going to be fine”

“Well it worked. I feel terrible. Pidge is probably gonna live with this hanging over her head for the rest of her life.”

“And so are you, if you don’t let yourself move past it. I’m not saying you have to right away. But you need to let yourself heal.” Shiro knew Keith well enough to know that he was going to be internalizing this and letting it fester in his mind. The sooner he could plant the seeds of self-forgiveness, the less likely he was to hurt himself like that. “Come on, you need to rest. Okay? You look like shit.”

It wasn’t often the Shiro would cuss in front of other people. If he was the one saying that, then Keith knew he had to be looking _really_ rough. So he went with Shiro to the infirmary himself, peeling off his armor as they walked. When they arrived, Keith was guided towards a bed near the end of the room. He tried to catch a glimpse of Pidge, but the only Holt he saw was Matt talking to one of the medical staff members. He didn’t look too upset, so Keith took that to mean Pidge was doing okay. It was that thought that allowed him to fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

•••  
_  
Pidge screamed and writhed as she felt even more hands grabbing at her. Some were pulling out hair, others were hitting, scratching, prodding, tearing at her clothes. Hands, just endless hands hurting her body. A seemingly unending sea of hands. She no longer had any control over herself. Her every movement was dictated by the hands._

_But despite that, she didn’t stop screaming. She was going to fight them in any way she could. Even when one of them clamped down over her mouth, she still whimpered and wiggled as best she could. It was no good though. Her face and chest were sore, and growing uncomfortably stiff. She wasn’t going to get out of this. Not by herself. Her body was rigid now, and she couldn’t move at all._

_Her eyes were sliding shut. Despite every brain cell she had screaming at her to keep struggling, it was just too hard. More and more hands were dragging her down, somewhere she didn’t want to go. She wanted to be back up where she had been before the hands. That had been a simple place. She had been able to just sit and breathe. It wasn’t a struggle, or a constant violation of personal space. God she just wanted to get away from them. Her eyes cracked open blearily for one last look up. Any minute now, one of those hands would cover her eyes, and prevent her from seeing at all._

_Honey eyes widened when they took in another hand, right in front of her. It wasn’t grabbing, it wasn’t suffocating, it wasn’t trying to drag her down. This hand was reaching down from up above her, like it was reaching down to pull her up. It didn’t seem possible that this one hand would be able to do anything, but she struggled for it like it was a lifesaver. The hand was warm and strong when she finally managed to grasp it. She refused to let go, even at first when it felt like nothing was happening. But she realized that it really was pulling her up. It was slow going- the other hands didn’t want to let her go. But the higher she got, the fewer hands there were to drag her down. And the ones that were left had no chance of getting at her with the hand that was saving her. It was stronger than the other feeble hands trying to seize her once again._

_She was rising, ascending through hell by way of what Pidge could only think of as an angel’s hand. As she neared the top, it felt like she was able to see a fuzzy face start to come into focus. It got clearer and clearer with each passing moment as she neared the light it was bathed in. Who’s face was it? She was having difficulty placing it. Dark hair, piercing eyes, a worried frown. She knew this face. She knew who it was. She just... couldn’t remember... the name._

_Light flooded her eyes as realization hit. It was-_

“Keith!” Pidge woke up with a gasp, sitting upright. “W-what...?”

She looked around frantically, but stopped quickly to groan when the movement caused flashes of pain. The short glance she had gotten of the white room told her that she was back on the Atlas, and if she had to guess by how her body felt, she was in the medical area.

Taking a heaving breath, Pidge laid back down and wrapped her arms around herself. After the dream she’d just had, she didn’t particularly want to go back to sleep. But she couldn’t move, and there wasn’t much she could do when she was laying still in a bed but drift off once again, and hope for the best. 

•••

“Keith. Hey, Keith, wake up. Pidge is awake and she was asking about you.” Lance was shaking his shoulder as he spoke. Sometimes Keith could wake up after hearing a bug skittering across the floor. Other times it took a bullhorn and some physical contact. Looked like this was one of the other times. But this was the first time the Pidge had been up and talking for a long enough time to hold a conversation, and she wanted Keith. Lance considered picking him up and carrying him to Pidge, but decided against it. He wasn’t interested in getting out of a chokehold. So Lance kept shaking Keith and talking to him loudly until one gray eye peeled open to squint up at him. “There you go. Come on, it’s time to get up.”

With a groan, Keith sat up and stretched before he stood. “How long was I asleep?”

“You were coming up on thirteen hours, if you can believe that.” 

He _couldn’t_ believe it. Keith had never slept that long in his entire life, and once he was in space, he rarely got more than six. Was he supposed to feel refreshed? Because he didn’t. He felt just as tired as he had when he’d entered the Atlas three days ago. Now that he thought about it, Keith was surprised that it had taken two and a half days for him to crash that hard. It had been a busy two and a half days though. “Did you say Pidge wanted to see me?”

“Yup. She wanted to talk to you about something.” Lance was watching Keith carefully.

“About what?”

“Beats me. She didn’t really want to talk to any of us- not even her family.”

That was enough to prompt Keith to pull on a baggy shirt and walk with Lance to where Pidge was resting. When she saw Keith, she actually smiled. She waved him over, so he sat beside her on her temporary bed.

“So how are you feeling?” Keith asked. 

“Been better. Been... way better. Still a bit sore. Shiro mentioned you were a bit pissed off with yourself.”

Damn it, Shiro. He was just totally incapable of keeping anything to himself. He was almost as bad as Hunk. That was the last time he’d share anything with him, Keith decided. 

“Well, I guess I’ve been better too.” Keith tried to offer up a smile, but he had a feeling he was failing. “Pidge... You shouldn’t have... you shouldn’t have gone through that. Zethrid- and I didn’t even do-“

He cut off, grinding his teeth, but Pidge could guess what he was going to say. Sharing feelings wasn’t something either of them were particularly good at, which was usually why they were able to get along. They didn’t need to talk too much to understand one another. But this time was different. There was something Keith wanted- _needed_ to say to her, and she wasn’t sure how to make it any easier for him. It felt like she should have been reassuring him, but she knew that Keith would take that as her patronizing him, and he wouldn’t like that. So she chose to just stay silent, and let him take the time he needed to get there. 

“They captured her,” he finally said. “Zethrid. She’s in a holding cell. I thought Lance was going to try and kill her. And I’m pretty sure Shiro would've let him, after he heard what she- what happened.”

“That’s good. I’m glad she’s not running around anymore. Wish they’d put her somewhere else though.”

Keith nodded understandingly, then sighed. “Pidge, I’m so sorry. It was my fault this all happened. Zethrid used you to get at me. And I couldn’t stop her. I couldn’t protect you. And now, I look at you and all I can see is just... how scared you were. And even though it was my fault, you still... I don’t know, you still wanted me to stay with you.”

Pidge had watched him carefully as the words spilled out. She was mostly expressionless, up until the last sentence, where she frowned at him. “Of course I did. I was scared. I don’t actually remember... very much. What I do remember- most of it I wish I didn’t. But I remember you. It would’ve been easier for you to just leave me and come back with help. You didn’t though. You brought me with you, and you _did_ protect me. It was a- bad situation all around. But it wasn’t your fault. And she would’ve killed you if she hadn’t gotten to me.”

“Yeah, but she would’ve killed you if it hadn’t been for that guy distracting her.”

“Well she didn’t. Neither of us died. I’m counting this as a win.”

Keith looked at her a moment before smiling and shaking his head ruefully. “I don’t think any of us won this time.”

Pidge sighed and looked down at her hands. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“You know, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say that to me.”

“First time I’ve said that, and I’m agreeing with you calling us losers.” They both laughed weakly, but Pidge stopped quickly and reached up to tenderly touch her face. “Ugh. It hurts my face to smile, and it hurts my chest to laugh.”

Her complaining didn’t make Keith feel any better, but he tried not to let it bother him too much. He reached out and gently held up her chin to get a good look at her. Her face was a mess of black and blue bruises, and Keith knew that her chest and stomach weren’t looking much better. Once again, he sighed. No matter what she said, he was still going to feel at least a little guilty whenever he saw her. Because no matter how she felt, he knew that he was at least partly responsible. The fact of the matter was, if not for him, she wouldn’t have been targeted. 

Like she knew what he was thinking, Pidge reached up and took his hand. “We’re both here, Keith. That’s what matters. We made it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo that was long. I honestly have no clue how this got so long. It just kept going. Pidge’s reaction to this was a bit in contrast with how she reacted in You Belong to Me Now, but I wanted to give her a little bit of a break and focused on Keith instead.  
> I used to get head injuries all the time as a kid, and this is pretty much how I remember them being like.  
> This was also kinda the last request in my inbox! So if anyone wanted to request anything, I'm @ http://the-sinnamon-roll-writes.tumblr.com/


End file.
